Thursday, March 3, 2016

To Louise:

"hey Obel, i just wanted to get your perspective on something, do you think it's worth it to stay with someone when your relationship has an expiration date? I think it'd be easier to rip it off like a band-aid instead of waiting around..."

I was actually in your shoes in the exact same situation not so long ago. He told me "I just feel like we have an expiration date y'know? It's not that I'm not happy, I just don't see how it's going to work out at the end of it all." And Obel being Obel, just kinda denies and ignores everything and swear that we'll get through the worst of it all and that it will work out (and at one point, the thought of it being able to work out did come to mind).

Believe me, there are countless of times that I thought that ending things with dignity was the best way. I dreaded the thought of breaking up from never-ending arguments and stress when we could have called it quits months ago, when we first saw it coming. Sometimes, I really wonder how things would have turned had I said yes the first time he brought this problem up. I wonder how things would have gone if I stood up and walked away instead of staying for so long. But, if you were to ask me now, do I regret it? I would, with no hesitation, tell you that I do not regret any bit of the whole thing.

You see, the truth is, when you love someone whole-heartedly, even those arguments are worth the time. Even the stress is a memory. When you look back, you will want to know that you did everything in your power to make it work. You don’t want to see yourself giving up just because times got tough. Look, if you ask me now, what do I remember about him, I'd tell you of the happy times we spent together. I'd tell you of the times he cooked for me, and the little things he did, I'd tell you, man, oh man, how beautiful and peaceful he looked when he was asleep. I'd tell you how happy he made me. 

You see, sometimes two people can love each other very much, but want very different things, unfortunately when this happens, things just don't work.  So maybe things won't work out in the end and maybe there is an expiration date but also remember, many things have one. Yes, it sucks, but that's just how things go sometimes y'know? Maybe in another country, at another time, in the future, you can try again, if life allows and the stars aligns and God wills. Just not now. But if you love them, then you must keep trying until the very end. You must - if only for your future sanity. You must love with everything that you have, because you will never regret trying as much as you will regret not trying.

This is, after all, just my point of view, you should also think for yourself what you think is best for, if not just you, the both of you as well. It will definitely hurt a lot more if you drag it on and on, in comparison to sorting it out and clearing things up and getting it over with right now. All in your own time and at your own pace okay?

I just want you to keep in mind that through it all, you'll turn out fine, it'll make you sad for a bit, but you'll be alright again.

I hope you figure out what you should do soon, much love x

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