one thing i’ve learned is that you can’t make someone: love you, stay with you or be faithful. those are things they’re gonna do or not do all on their own. the only thing you can control is how you give and accept love and and how you leave when you feel like it’s best for you to go .
Maybe this is what it’s all about. You love a person for as long as you possibly can until you run out of love. You love them even when they don’t love you. And then you can leave, as quietly as you came, knowing that you gave all you had, knowing that you couldn’t have been any more than what you were and that it was pure, that it was full and that you were honest with it all.
Tough. Uneasy. Difficult.
How exactly do you "move on" from something that was such a big part of your life? In all honesty, I don't think you ever do. You just adjust to the change better, y'know? You don't just completely forget about it, there will still be times you start quivering from how it came out of nowhere
I think the hardest part is leaving the familiarity of the entire thing, how safe it was, a routine you knew.
How do you stop talking to someone whom you have been for so long?
How do cope with not having that one person whom you've shared such intimate moments with?
How do you accept the fact that they are no longer ours, nor are you theirs?
Next would be abandoning the hopes of everything that could've, would've and should've been. The dreams of the bright future you two were going to build together. It is gonna hurt, for some time. You will cry, until you're numb. That's okay. It really is, it's all part of the proc…
Isn't it terrifying how vulnerable we let ourselves be around people? How fragile and stripped back and naked and so, so raw, like we've gt out skin on backwards, and every single nerve ending is exposed, and you feel all these things, and my god, it scares the life out of me, that kind of helpless, that kind of "I trust you not to break my neck when you touch me there", how hopeless, how brilliant.
But how long before it starts to rot and grow inwards like a weed? How long before it hurts and hurts and hurts? Maybe it’s brave. Maybe it’s just really stupid. All I know is that it is the safest feeling to love and be loved in return.