Five stages of being left

1. One day you wake up golden, and grey light is coming through the windows to brush against your duvet, cold reaching to settle around you like a fog, and he is gone like the shine from the light rays that don’t sparkle nearly as much anymore. You pull your covers tighter around you and try to sleep again.

2. Maybe if you don’t acknowledge the reality it will surrender itself in retreat to what you wish to be true. Truth is always a matter of circumstance and maybe he’s gone because you didn’t fight and weren’t brave enough or maybe it is so because nothing was quite in the right place. You were all furniture in a house just a little off scale so everything ended up too cramped.

3. Listen to the great poets. Write about what hurts. Know that another moment shall pierce you with a sudden painful joy. Wonder if he was the painful joy and if he has left you with a needle mark in the bruised crook of your elbow. Roll words around in your mouth and pronounce them how you never have before. Enunciate them the way Shakespeare did and pretend you are someone different now.

4. The sum of your physical components adds up to exactly the same number as before. There is no reason for this to change. You always knew that this was an inevitability so why do you cry?

5. Forget, forget, forget. Hold hope in an amber pearl in your heart that chokes your throat. Try, love. Try to forget.

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