Delusions, Siobhan

i don’t think anyone else
can miss someone 
the way i miss you
but if they do,
i’ll tell them

"be strong.
hold on.
he’s worth it.”

the saddest hours
are when I’m asleep
and you’re awake.

when I’m dreaming
and you’re not.

the convincing myself
i’ll see you soon,
not knowing
when “soon” is.

the kissing your picture
before going to bed,
hoping you’d feel
the coldness of 
my chapped lips
that are in need
of your 
ones’ warmth.

the praying,
the hoping
that the next time
i open my eyes,
i see you 
sleeping beside me
with your heavy arms
on my chest.
you may make
it harder to breathe,
but who needs air
ehen I have your
scent to inhale?

even the most
annoying things;
your snore.
that keeps
me up all night.

you may not know this,
but you were my
favourite part of 
the day.

but sometimes,
when I open my eyes,
i see you.
sleeping, snoring.
right there.
then in a  blink away,
you’re no longer there.