It wasn’t this romanticised bullshit portion of my life, it was raw and it hurt.It was not speaking for four days and then eventually your voice on the other end of the phone choking me of every valid reason I couldn’t do this anymore, it was stomach acid rising up into my throat every time I heard your name on someone else’s tongue.It was your smell clinging to my clothes that cut straight to the bone.I ached in places I didn’t even know existed, and if I wasn’t thinking about you I was thinking about the space on my bed where you used to be.I can’t romanticise it, because it wasn’t beautiful. It was ugly, it was a dull ache when I couldn’t sleep. It was light years from here, I know, but I loved you.