My lover refuses to hold my hand in public, he won't meet my eyes, when they ask "are you together?"
He shakes his head fervently as though he did not spend the night tracing his fingers on my bare back. 
As though my lips aren't bruised from the weight of his love. 

I want to ask him if it is something I have done. If we can talk about it or maybe, I pray that he doesn't like the clammy of my nerves because my skin becomes water when he touches me and I could understand why he might not always want to drown. 

But his eyes, they'll look at other women when we are shopping
And at restaurants he shakes his head and says "her? Nah she's just my sister."
Have you forgotten my mouth on your jaw, have your forgotten my hands or the way my eyes do not look like yours, how the fuck can I be your sister when you whispered "I love you" a thousand times into my ears. 

I am okay with the other secrets he keeps. I know that he cannot stand the night after 1AM and that the sound of barking dogs make him shake and even that he lives pink alcoholic drinks though he will never admit it and I will never admit that I cannot be okay with being another one of his little secrets. 

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