Showing posts from June, 2013

“‘You disappear so completely into your head sometimes,’ he said. ‘I wish I could follow you.’”

it was 3 am
and I called you
and told you
how I wanted to die
but didn't know how to.

You were the first person
who listened
and stayed on the phone
until the sun came up
and I could breathe again.

You were always there
even when I was so far gone.
You cared
and you stayed
through all the sleepless nights.

I'm not sure why
I ever let you go.
I guess it was just a sign
that I was getting worse.

It's 3am now in early June
and I want to die more than ever
but there is no one to call
and I don't remember
the sound of your voice
the time of the sunrise.

I give myself three days to feel better,
or else I swear I'll drive off a fucking cliff.
Because if I can't learn to make myself feel better,
then how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?

"I've been smoking alot and starting to doubt if I'm breathing you in or smoking you out."


Because breathing in second hand smoke and the smell of weather turning is like looking through another pair of eyes.
(watching —- has never felt better, things —- have never felt better.)
The storm in the sky grows as days melt through my fingers, and summer is flooding. Stand back far enough and every face looks the same; leave long enough and the pavements of every city is the same sultry brand of cold.
I count the number of train stations home. Now is in transition.

things i am running out of

words to console peoplewords to glue together things to forgetmouthwashapologiesblu-tacktime to wastepeople to lovefeelings to feelpatiencethings to add on to this list