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Last Update

Life has been well, there are big dreams to be turned into plans and plans to be turned into actions. It's funny how you never notice how you grow as a person as the changes are happening, but when you look back, it can really baffle you. The things you used to hold dear to your heart, the people you cared about, your aspirations, goals, everything.

A year ago today, I was in this funny place, and I didn't know what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be. Fresh out of college with no direction in life. And if that's you, if you're wondering what's next, I hope you hold onto this thought: there is something glorious that's trembling at the very edge of your horizon. You are not your hollow nights, or your lack of self belief or all the times you failed.
You’ll get your shit together, soon, I don't know when but you will. 
You’ll get a job that feels good, that one you wanted, or the one that'll get you where you want to be.  You’ll move out, the bed may no…

February Reminder

Time is the great equalizer. Given time, all things level out—the love and the pain, reward and punishment, strength and weakness. But contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. Time buries all wounds. And sometimes burying them is enough.


2018

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It's a weird feeling not wanting the year to end just yet because it's been such a good one. It is also a weird feeling going back to a place that you grew up in but feeling so foreign. I left as such a different person and also with different commitments and attachments. It's odd thinking you had your life planned a certain way and having it all change because you grew in a different direction than you originally intended to. 
I feel like I've experienced more this year alone than I have in all my years combined. Also, what I want has never been clearer in life. Y'know that feeling you get when you're torn between "if it's meant to be, it will be" and "if you want it, go get it". That's always been such a blur line to straddle. 
But you learn that the first phrase: “If it’s meant to be, it will be” is for friendships, relationships, people in general coming into your life, dealing with rejection. Whereas “If you want it, go get it” i…
Can you be in love with the freedom you have and a foreign place that makes you feel right at home
Yes.
" He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at  her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth., he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset, he wondered how he'd never seen her before."

房间一点声音也没有,是由你来决定那到底是寂寞,还是平静

life update

In less than a week's time, I will be on a flight out of the country. On my own. For the very first time. To a place I've never been.
For the longest I've ever been away. To the furthest I've ever been.
I think the reality of it is finally settling in and I am very very excited and half as anxious.