When do you know it’s over? That you’ve really lost them this time?

Firsthand experience tells me to tell you that it’s in the silence.
Why? At the end of the day, you can only be disappointed so much repeatedly by the same person, I guess. Y'know how they say it's never too late, I beg to differ, really. You can always be too late, even if it's just by a little.
Back to the question, how? Like I said, the silence. At least when they’re throwing curses at you like it’s second nature and screaming how much they hate you, you know that some part of them still cares. Some part of them still cares enough to feel something for you; even if it is love twisted into hate. But when they stop yelling and they lose the fire in their eyes, you’ve lost them. When it goes quiet they’ve given up - they’ve gone.


Imma let you in on a secret: love works better when you don't need it. It's a simple concept, something I remember reading in passing. It's like holding sand, I guess? Scoop up dry sand, and hold it gently, watch how it stays cupped in your palm, micmicking the curves and creases. Do it again, this time, clench your fists, try holding it so tightly like as if it might slip away, now watch it slip away. Watch it slip between your fingers, slip right out of your grip until there's nothing but remnants of what used to be. It's the same with people, when you don't give them space to grow, to breathe, to be their own person. When you're so desperately trying to hold onto them, to keep them stagnant, then you're gonna have to watch them slowly drift away from you.
On a more personal note, it's the mid of the year now, and this has by far been one of the fastest year. I'm 3 papers and a semester away from graduating so there's that, relatively exci…

18 MAY 17

I've seen a lot of negativity on my social media timeline lately and I just want to share a little sunshine, even if it's the tiniest ray.
go out there, love. dance terribly and sing loudly. your heart’s strong as ever, no matter the storms that have tried to ruin you for good. i promise. forget about the yesterdays that followed you here. today, you can forgive even that which has interrupted your sleep. today, all the countries you have lost are replaced in full. today you can rest your head anywhere and remember the women before you who did not die, even when the whole world willed it. listen, love. go on and feel everything if that’s what it takes. so what if the world doesn’t love you back? what does it know anyway. go and save yourself in the thousand ways you feared were impossible. the war’s not over but for people like us, it never is. breathe deeply, love. keep waking up, even if the days you step into do not belong to you. go on, love. go and tell the river it owns …

29 APRIL 17

Here's a very common scenario, you meet a guy/girl and the conversation was good, last time you guys hung out, it was even better. But oddly, there's just no contact from them in a week. And i know generally we tend to overthink about everything but the thing is they said they wanted a relationship and even asked about you guys living together in the future.
 The million dollar question is always, why?
I've had a couple instances where people came up to me with this scene and asked me for my personal opinion and if I had to be honest, sounds like they aren't interested; I mean they're SOMEWHAT interested but not interested enough, makes sense? Even I myself have spoken to people like that before. didn’t reply me on time, (or at all), and honestly they can try to justify it any type of way they want but at the end of the day they’re just not that into you.
So best advice I get give you is to do yourself a favor now and leave. don’t wait around for people. i’m tellin…

She's full of light. 

Almost mistook her for the sun.

11 APRIL 17


10 APRIL 17

And my god, I hope you wake up one morning to someone who loves you like you’re a sunflower and they’re desperate to keep you alive. I hope you dance with them in the small space of your kitchen floor, messy hair and tired eyes because you both been up all night watching movies again. I hope you laugh with them in a way you never did with anyone else, head tilted back and lips apart as you let out every sound your laugh can possibly make and I hope to god you don’t try to cover your mouth. And if you do, because that’s okay, I know I sometimes do, I hope they stop you. I hope they grab your hand before it ever comes in contact with your lips and I hope they hold it to their chest as they watch you with kind loving eyes. Because Jesus, everyone knows you deserve it. And I hope you find someone who’ll accept you. I hope they accept your messy hair in the early morning of the day and I hope they accept the way you sometimes talk too much and can’t seem to stop when you’re nervous or how …