This is a gentle 12AM reminder that:Sometimes you fall off the wagon for months. Sometimes you tell yourself you’re gonna start fresh on Monday and by Wednesday you’ve already fallen back off. Sometimes you have to restart a 100 times and it’s frustrating. But it will be okay. You can do this. One day at a time

A gentle August reminder

Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important.


Today (technically yesterday because I wrote this on the first day of the semester and saved the post instead of publishing it lmao) was the first day of my last semester before graduation, relatively uneventful but if I were to put things into perspective, it's the first day of my final semester and that's kinda big. Just 3 units and a final year project to go before the regalia. Feels good, really. 
2017 lessons:
Watch the magic that happens when you give someone enough space to be themselves. You are what you eat. Always double check, triple, if you have the time. Be so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too. You're your own person and not anyone else's. Don't make yourself a secondary character in your own story. Avocado goes really good with cream cheese on toasts.Buttered toasts go really good with honey. There is nothing a hot shower cannot solve temporarily.

Basically spent majority of my entire semester break overseas, came …

When do you know it’s over? That you’ve really lost them this time?

Firsthand experience tells me to tell you that it’s in the silence.
Why? At the end of the day, you can only be disappointed so much repeatedly by the same person, I guess. Y'know how they say it's never too late, I beg to differ, really. You can always be too late, even if it's just by a little.
Back to the question, how? Like I said, the silence. At least when they’re throwing curses at you like it’s second nature and screaming how much they hate you, you know that some part of them still cares. Some part of them still cares enough to feel something for you; even if it is love twisted into hate. But when they stop yelling and they lose the fire in their eyes, you’ve lost them. When it goes quiet they’ve given up - they’ve gone.


Imma let you in on a secret: love works better when you don't need it. It's a simple concept, something I remember reading in passing. It's like holding sand, I guess? Scoop up dry sand, and hold it gently, watch how it stays cupped in your palm, micmicking the curves and creases. Do it again, this time, clench your fists, try holding it so tightly like as if it might slip away, now watch it slip away. Watch it slip between your fingers, slip right out of your grip until there's nothing but remnants of what used to be. It's the same with people, when you don't give them space to grow, to breathe, to be their own person. When you're so desperately trying to hold onto them, to keep them stagnant, then you're gonna have to watch them slowly drift away from you.
On a more personal note, it's the mid of the year now, and this has by far been one of the fastest year. I'm 3 papers and a semester away from graduating so there's that, relatively exci…

18 MAY 17

I've seen a lot of negativity on my social media timeline lately and I just want to share a little sunshine, even if it's the tiniest ray.
go out there, love. dance terribly and sing loudly. your heart’s strong as ever, no matter the storms that have tried to ruin you for good. i promise. forget about the yesterdays that followed you here. today, you can forgive even that which has interrupted your sleep. today, all the countries you have lost are replaced in full. today you can rest your head anywhere and remember the women before you who did not die, even when the whole world willed it. listen, love. go on and feel everything if that’s what it takes. so what if the world doesn’t love you back? what does it know anyway. go and save yourself in the thousand ways you feared were impossible. the war’s not over but for people like us, it never is. breathe deeply, love. keep waking up, even if the days you step into do not belong to you. go on, love. go and tell the river it owns …

29 APRIL 17

Here's a very common scenario, you meet a guy/girl and the conversation was good, last time you guys hung out, it was even better. But oddly, there's just no contact from them in a week. And i know generally we tend to overthink about everything but the thing is they said they wanted a relationship and even asked about you guys living together in the future.
 The million dollar question is always, why?
I've had a couple instances where people came up to me with this scene and asked me for my personal opinion and if I had to be honest, sounds like they aren't interested; I mean they're SOMEWHAT interested but not interested enough, makes sense? Even I myself have spoken to people like that before. didn’t reply me on time, (or at all), and honestly they can try to justify it any type of way they want but at the end of the day they’re just not that into you.
So best advice I get give you is to do yourself a favor now and leave. don’t wait around for people. i’m tellin…