It is okay to want your own happiness.  It’s okay to care about yourself the most.  It’s okay to do what’s healthy for you. 
When someone hits you, it’s okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected.  It’s okay. 
You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you.  You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy.  You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”.  You have a right to say “Let me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?”  You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. 
The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours.
As a child, they teach you about safe spaces and how it is okay to retreat into yourself when the world gets too heavy. They teach you how to turn your skin into makeshift shelter and hide away when the storms hit, but how soon until a house becomes a prison cell and your bed starts to grow shackles and chains for a spine? and so you learn to draw a circle with chalk and you stand in it and wait for things to get better.

You draw a circle with chalks or parts of your own bone it doesn't really matter which, and you stand in it and wait for things to get better. You wait for days where you can walk outside and days where the air isn't barb-wired in your throat holding your soul by the skin of its back. You draw a circle and stand in it and nothing can touch you here but don't worry nothing is ever going to try anyway. You have knives for hands, daggers for teeth, red neon lights backed against a wall screaming do not touch do not touch me do not touch me so loud it rattles …


Reactivated my for a bit and scrolled through the unanswered questions I had and came across this one, figured it'd be a good writing prompt, and also figured the person who sent this deserved an answer. 

Q: Do you think he misses me like I do him sometimes?

A: I don’t know, if I had to be honest. Maybe he does. Maybe on some nights he misses you so much that he has trouble sleeping. Maybe he tosses and turns and he picks up his phone and almost dials your number. Maybe when he gets drunk on the weekends he calls his new girlfriend by your name. Maybe he still thinks about you every day. Or, every other day. Maybe he regrets ending things with you. Or he wishes he hadn’t let you go so easily. Maybe he still has your t-shirt. Something else you left behind. It doesn’t smell like you anymore, but he thinks it does. Maybe he still talks to his friends about you. Dreams about you. Wishes you would get in touch. Maybe he wonders how you are, whether you’ve found love. Maybe he hop…

About life and it’s process. 

Just a little gentle reminder to start off the first post of 2018. It’s always heartbreaking when things don’t work out.  Always. But I’ve had an epiphany, well not really an epiphany per se, more of a realization that things don’t work out because, well, greater things were in the works. It’s very difficult to realize this while you’re blind and hurting and don’t know which way is up. But, if you have faith in anything, have faith in the fact that the universe has a beautiful way of straightening things out far better than we ever could. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed, and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful or where you wanted to be. You will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to.

2017 in a nutshell. 

Oh, what a year it has been indeed. No doubt one that has been full of growth, mentally and emotionally.  It has been a year filled with forging new friendships with people of different backgrounds, and keeping old friendships close to heart. A year of trying out new things, like salsa which I have come to really love. A year of lessons on trusting your instinct and on loss and on loving.  To understand that the heart will hurt and the heart will heal when time had had enough time.  To understand that you gotta love yourself enough to recognize when a person isn’t treating you right and to step out once it’s recognized.  To understand that life can be kind although it isn’t something you can control all the time. Although the circumstances can kick you down, it can never hold you down and that you can choose to rise. Everything has a way of working out, in the most unexpected way possible, give it time and trust in the process (of course, you need to put in the effort too). If you rem…
Easy, like a lazy Sunday morning. Natural, like a second skin.
"Whatever makes you feel the sun from inside out, keep it around"

"We were so young and naive," she says, “man, we thought we had the entire world. It was going to be hard, but love was everything, and love was enough."
But things change with time, things don’t go to plan. One minute he’s kissing your face swearing he’ll do whatever it takes to make you his wife, the next he’s on the phone to a girl who spends the evening saying things she knows he likes.
The worst part is right.. you never know what’s coming, you throw yourself off a cliff hoping there aren’t rocks like daggers on the ground. 
You stay safe and never live, or jump and risk everything. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose; when you’re young you think you know how much it’ll hurt.
When it comes you’ll realise you never had a clue."
“Look.” She says. “Sometimes you have to know when to walk away.”
“It’s not you. It’s not me. It’s this; it’s us. No one’s to blame, not really. But you make me angry and sad and I’m drowning in what we were.”
“Someone once told me that if…